To: Ms. Rona

Vanessa Borgane
2 min readDec 10, 2020

--

It is 5 a.m right now and I have been going through this scenario many times in my head.

‘’Write your first text, put yourself out there.’’

To be fair, I first learnt how to write when I was 6 years old. I am not talking about the grammatical aspect of writing. I learnt how to put my thoughts and emotions into words, and started my first blog. It was absolute garbage, considering the fact that I didn’t know how to spell properly until I was atleast 11 years old.

That was a pretty long time ago, now I’m 20 years old. I am a morning person or an night owl. It all really depends on the perspective you see life through. I barely know myself anymore.

I had so much plans for this year, so did we all. The amount of people I have lost, either by death or distance. I should consider myself lucky to be on anti-depressants. The only problem is that I barely feel at all, you feel?

I don’t feel bad, which is the entire point with my medicine. I finally got the diagnose and the right help for my ADHD so that is also a good thing. But I wouldn’t necessarily go as far to say I feel good. Like I am numb but in a intermediate way. Most of us must feel like that by now.

2020 has been a complete mess, just like this text. I miss my family, my job, my friends, travelling, just sitting on a bus for the sake of it.

Fuck you, 2020. Go die in a ditch.

--

--

Vanessa Borgane
Vanessa Borgane

Written by Vanessa Borgane

I am lost. Speechless. Blind and numb, some might even consider me really f*cking dumb.

No responses yet